WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14TH, 2023 | 9:00AM
Show Notes
You won’t want to miss this interview with Tiff, a cast member on The Ultimatum: Queer Love. Tiff shares her experience on the show and how it affected her mental health and led her to start a support group for survivors of narcissistic abuse. We’ll also spill some tea that wasn’t aired on the show, and you’ll see that not all producers have your back when it comes to making good TV. This chat with Tiff is inspiring, raw, and will give you insight into what really goes on behind the scenes. So grab your favorite snack, sit back and hit play. Don’t forget to like and subscribe for more engaging interviews like this one. Let us know how you think blasting your life on reality tv can effect an individual’s mental health and alter relationships.
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key moments
01:03 How Did Tiff Get Cast For The Netflix Show The Ultimatum?
02:33 The Hesitation to Put Their Relationship in the Public Eye
03:28 “I Understood the Assignment”
04:46 Knowing Something Was Off From the Beginning
06:07 Self-Awareness and Discovering the Origins of Their Feelings
07:26 The Truth is, In the Show, You Only See A Fraction of What Goes On
08:04 Tiff’s Relationship with Their Father 10:09 “I’m Going to Reject You Before You Reject Me” A Theory For Mildred’s Behavior
12:16 “My Level of Self-Esteem in That Relationship…Didn’t Match Up to Who I Really Was”
15:04 Trauma Bonds and Finding A Safe Space To Express Feelings in My Relationship through Couple’s Therapy
16:28 The Added Strain Reality TV Puts on Your Relationship and Mental Health
19:51The Use of Speculation and Ignorance To Manipulate & Shift the Blame
24:16 “If Mildred Was A Masculine Man and I Was A Feminine Woman, Would This Have Even Happened?”
33:02 Going Through This Process Helped Tiff Create A Level of Self-Awareness
36:38 The Ultimatum Was A Life-Changing Experience
37:32 “I Didn’t Know What Boundaries Were”
39:24 “How Did I Let Myself Stay In Such A Toxic Relationship For So Long?”
40:21 What Does Healing Look Like For Tiff?
43:15 Life After The Show
46:07 There’s Way More That Unites Us Than Divides Us
50:46 Part of the Contract, It’s Our Job on the Show to Have Tuff Conversations
52:21 Where Can You Find Tiff & Shiloh?
connect
Dr. Dana McNeil
PsyD, LMFT
Tiff Der
Survivor & Cast Member of
The Ultimatum – Queer Love
Thanks for listening to The D Spot. We would like to remind you that the content of this podcast is not a substitute for professional therapy. While we strive to provide valuable insights and information, this podcast does not constitute or replace therapy sessions with a qualified mental health professional. If you are in need of mental health support, please seek the advice of a licensed therapist or healthcare provider.
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